Britain’s third political entity has lost its way – but there might just be a solution
Older readers may remember the Liberal Democrats. They were once seen as the third party in British politics. Not so long ago, they won 57 seats at a General Election and helped the Tories gain a majority in Parliament. Today they have 14 MPs and would need help to field a rugby team.
They ought to be making piles of bright orange hay from all the chaos in Government and an unconvincing opposition. They are not. The Electoral Calculus Poll of Polls has them winning a lower percentage of voters than in 2019. This is not a surprise. It is always the right time for the Liberal Democrats, in the same way it’s always the right time for me to sort out my sock drawer or write that novel. However perfect the conditions might appear, it never quite happens. There is always an excuse.
This week, they might console themselves with the fact that in Rishi Sunak and Jeremy Hunt, there is already a distinctly Lib Demmish feel to the men in the top jobs. Yes, Sunak supported Brexit, but as a Tesla-driving multi-millionaire who divides his time between London and California, he projects a distinctly Lib Dem energy. It is not a coincidence that the party’s former leader, Nick Clegg, has been the first to achieve true Lib Dem transcendence by subliming into the Metaverse. But like any difficult labour, the effort of propelling Nick to Palo Alto appears to have exhausted the parent. The Lib Dems appear exhausted. The timing of the Queen’s death meant they were forced to cancel their conference in Brighton, but it may have been a mercy. Hopefully the pub was able to rebook the room.
Luckily I have the solution to the Lib Dem fatigue. There is a single issue the Lib Dems could campaign on that would instantly propel them back to relevance: rejoining the EU. In fact, they should rename themselves Rejoin!, complete with a jaunty metropolitan exclamation mark. They could add a spritz of blue to their yellow logo and get little hats. They could pitch it as yet another act of solidarity with Ukraine, by suggesting Britain apply for membership at the same time. They could hold a little festival showcasing the best of European culture, with barolo and jamon Iberico. The whole thing would be a colossal wind-up for the Tories, but not as much as it would be for Labour.