Taylor Swift tickets £3,540 each

Well, it’s possible when that woman is Taylor Swift. Woman sings songs… gets paid £1BILLION. I know, how is that possible right? A billion quid is not far short of the GDP of a nation like Gambia or Belize. For singing pop songs. Now, I’m few people’s idea of a disappointed white suburban American housewife and as a result Taylor Swift is not really my go-to talismanic pop-starlet when I need to drink rose and stuff my tear-stained face with Hershey bars. And yes, as a straight middle-aged man I wouldn’t normally be over-excited by the prospect of a Taylor Swift tour… but a billion pounds for singing a few songs? Yeah, that piqued my interest. Taylor’s new Eras tour – 13 UK dates, tickets on sale today – is confidently predicted to be the world’s first one billion-grossing pop music tour. It will even dwarf Elton John’s recent farewell tour which only picked up a paltry £700m (although cynics confidently expect the “no, really, honestly, this really definitely is the farewell tour” sometime next year…) Needless to say getting a Taylor ticket for any of the gigs was truly a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket deal. Which is to say it was almost impossible. Taylor, god love her, did make strenuous efforts to try and make sure tickets went to the fans by having her “Swifties” register last month. But still, tickets for the Wembley show started at £60 (restricted view), then rose to £200 for decent seats and offered a £749 package with grazing menu (whatever that is) and (sadly Swift-less) after party. Dizzying prices you may think but it is on the re-selling sites where things get really mental. One of the much-derided firms (one still wonders how it is touts outside the venue get arrested while “re-selling” sites seem absolutely fine…) is selling tickets to see Taylor on Saturday for £3,540. Just for comparison, the same money will get you an all-inclusive luxury seven nights for two in the Maldives, or if you’re of a more practical bent a decent six-year-old Ford Focus on AutoTrader. Of course not all tickets are three and a half grand. No, some of them are being practically given away at £531. Who loves Taylor Swift that much? What is the appeal of this woman who, when you strip away the pasted-on glam, is pretty ordinary looking and who artistically is really nothing more than a genre dabbler? Well, after much research, I’m here to tell you it’s immense. I took it upon myself to investigate Ms Swift’s back catalogue, fully intent on ridiculing and hating it. But you can’t. It’s way too good for that. She’s been called “too professional” even by her own fans. And the trajectory of Taylor Alison Swift (born December 13, 1989, in West Reading, Pennsylvania) to pop superstardom does feel more like the development of a major business than the realisation of an angst-ridden poet. But then Venus and Serena Williams were similarly hot-housed for careers they were never going to escape – it didn’t mean they weren’t the best in the world. Swift is clearly basically a Nashville-esque country singer, but her dabblings into indie, rock and rap are annoyingly effective.