. A cheer goes up. Statues of Edward Colston, Winston Churchill, Queen Victoria and Cecil John Rhodes are wheeled out – chipped slightly from when they were torn down during the anti-slavery protests of the late 2020s – but still intact. They are placed on the grass and families quickly gather around them. A few children throw bits of quinoa, but mostly this is an non-violent affair. Before long, groups have sat cross-legged with their eyes closed so they can better process the intergenerational trauma caused by the British Empire. Yes, just as our modern-day Cassandra Suella Braverman predicted all those years ago, the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati is in charge – and their coalition of anti-growth chaos has transformed the annual tradition of Guy Fawkes (now known as They Fawkes) beyond recognition. Conversely, Guy Fawkes himself has become a beloved figure. A member of a religious minority bravely fighting against the white privilege of the British monarchy, he is feted in schools and stories, unpicking the centuries of problematic state-sanctioned effigies, which are earnestly discussed by panels on the BBC. People tut as they watch documentaries on the subject, but mostly they are relieved to live under the enforced kindness of this enlightened era. Not that there is any possibility of burning an effigy on this new Bonfire Night. Mass testing of ultra-fine particles in the air means that any form of outdoor fire has been condemned by scientists – and the NHS (now an exclusively online service) has sent out a health alert to all British){kind=link}
Events to mark the downfall of Guy Fawkes and the gunpowder plot could soon become a thing of the past
This should have been the night when fireworks came back with a bang – the first Bonfire Night after the scaled-down, socially distanced celebrations of lockdown. Yet in parts of the country it’s already looking like a damp squib.
Councils and charities have called off some of the biggest and most popular Guy Fawkes parties. Some are blaming the cost of living crisis (Nottingham simply said it couldn’t afford the event’s £30,000 price tag) but others say that bonfires and fireworks just aren’t compatible with net zero and the fight against climate change. Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds, Glasgow, Cardiff and Nottingham are among cities that won’t be putting on official displays tonight.
Some London boroughs have also cancelled their displays – Hammersmith and Fulham council being one such example, but it is trying to placate the locals by offering a laser light show next year instead (“less disruptive to neighbours” and “more environmentally friendly”). Penzance in Cornwall is at the vanguard; the local Rotary Club is hosting a laser show this weekend stating that the wellbeing of animals and the environment is behind their decision.
So while cost is undoubtedly a major consideration, the pollutive nature of huge, communal burnings may help justify these polarising rulings. “We are in a position where we have to balance all our decisions against our climate emergency priorities,” says Joseph Brown, a senior official with the London borough of Southwark. The council is not hosting a Bonfire Night this year and, as yet, there are no plans for its return.