 'When did you decide this? Is this even a label – I've never heard of it. I support you, obviously, but this doesn't sound real.' Just some of the words that greeted me when I came out as abrosexual to a close friend, back in 2020. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. For those of you who don't know what abrosexuality is, in layperson's terms, it simply means when someone's sexual identity fluctuates and changes. I read and re-read the text, the dismissiveness of their message cutting deeper each time. Here I was, sharing my identity with someone I trusted, only for them to scoff at my words. Although the easy defence is that you can't determine someone's tone from a text message, I think it's clear that the vibe was far from supportive. It was judgmental, and immediately doubtful. Sadly, this person isn't the only one who's voiced their opinions on my abrosexuality – and I doubt they'll be the last. When I was growing up, I'd never heard the term abrosexual – you were either straight, gay, or lesbian as far as nineties society was concerned. Anything else was made up. Of course, we know that's far from the truth – but societal blindspots mean we learn terms much slower than if they're readily accessible. Often, people don't go looking to educate themselves on different orientations unless it directly affects them – without that incentive, I've found many stick to what they know already. I didn't learn about abrosexuality until two years ago, when I was 30. Up until that point, I'd struggled to identify what my sexuality was because it fluctuated so rapidly. There were times that I too scoffed at myself, chastising myself for being so uncertain of who I was. It wasn't that I couldn't make my mind up, but rather my identity shifted. One day I felt like I was a lesbian, yet days or weeks later, I'd feel more aligned with bisexuality. My sexuality was fluid. The){kind=link}
NEWS… BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT
‘When did you decide this? Is this even a label – I’ve never heard of it. I support you, obviously, but this doesn’t sound real.’
Just some of the words that greeted me when I came out as abrosexual to a close friend, back in 2020.
Needless to say, we’re not friends anymore.
For those of you who don’t know what abrosexuality is, in layperson’s terms, it simply means when someone’s sexual identity fluctuates and changes.