 I spoke at my father's funeral. I spoke at my mother's funeral. Those were difficult and painful speeches to make – but what got me through was that sitting in front of me was my family, including my son, Cal. Cal would tell me after those speeches, 'Dad, I am so proud of you for being able to do that.' 'Mate, it was only possible because I could see you in front of me,' would be my reply. I never imagined the day would come where I'd be standing in front of friends and family, speaking at Cal's service. That I'd be setting up a charity in the honour of my own child. My son, Cal Stuart, died by suicide on the 7 January 2021 – he was just 23. He had a smile that would soften the hardest of hearts. He cared deeply for those around him, often stopping and sitting down to have a conversation when he was walking past a homeless person. He'd ask how they were doing, whether they needed anything. Growing up, Cal had no interest in the 'in crowd' – he was always more drawn to people who were lonely, or might be struggling in some way. Those who were hurt, Cal would help heal; those who felt they did not 'fit in', Cal would elevate their self-worth. He was a favourite in the workplace, with colleagues actively changing their shift patterns simply so they could work alongside him. As a family, we were super close. We always talked about our family as 'the four of us' – Cal, his sister, Cyan, me and his mum. Everything we dreamed of together, we'd make it work – whether that was setting up a beach bar in the south of France, or planning to attend music festivals together. We never imagined we'd become three. Cal suffered from depression and a heightened sense of anxiety, intensified by the pandemic and the impact on the hospitality sector in which Cal worked. Then, in the 18 months prior to Cal's passing, two male friends took their own lives. Our family had days where optimism, h){kind=link}
NEWS… BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT
I spoke at my father’s funeral. I spoke at my mother’s funeral.
Those were difficult and painful speeches to make – but what got me through was that sitting in front of me was my family, including my son, Cal.
Cal would tell me after those speeches, ‘Dad, I am so proud of you for being able to do that.’
‘Mate, it was only possible because I could see you in front of me,’ would be my reply.