Female MPs in my day wouldn’t be talking about their boob jobs

Rayner announced she had a boob job as her breasts looked like ‘two boiled eggs in socks’ (Image: Getty)Janet Fookes, once the MP for a Plymouth seat, is now 86 but she walked from Trafalgar Square to the Cenotaph without flinching and goodness knows for how long before that she was standing about waiting for the march to begin.When I was elected in 1987, there were only 41 women in total in the House but they were serious, formidable and had beaten the men to get there.The female MPs of yesteryear included Margaret Thatcher, Barbara Castle, Shirley Williams, Betty Boothroyd, Jo Richardson, Clare Short and Lynda Chalker. Then came positive discrimination and a host of mini-skirted wonders. The walk along Downing Street became a fashion parade.It’s impossible to imagine any of the aforementioned announcing she had a ‘boob job’ as did Angela Rayner in the press recently, or moaning about the menopause or crying ‘misogyny’ at the first parliamentary mauling. We were there to do a job and, as did the men, we just got on with it.While on the subject of the March Past, where were the Gurkhas? They must surely have been there but nobody I have spoken to remembers seeing them.Government also missed an opportunity by not having the Afghan interpreters there. They were vital for our troops in that war and should have been honoured. They will already be feeling bruised by the way they were left to their fate until the last moment, which meant some were left behind.Participation in the March Past would have both given them a sense of being valued and a sense of what being British means, something they must surely question while languishing in hotels.That aside, the occasion was as usual an impressive display of service and patriotism, as was the ceremony at the Royal Albert Hall the previous night. God save the King.Until this year I had never seen a single episode of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! from start to finish. However, as I am required to comment rather a lot on Matt Hancock’s antics, I felt duty bound to watch this time.All I can say is how relieved I am that, when a few years ago I met with the producers and discussed appearing, we did not take it any further.What really hits me between the eyeballs is just how utterly childish the show is. I can understand its appeal to a 10-year-old but how can any adult watch it night after night?Of course it is funny if someone gets covered with slime once, but only a kid could find amusement in the same joke repeated ad nauseam.Meanwhile Ant and Dec act like two cub scouts paid to entertain the kindergarten.So, sadly, does Matt. Hancock got covered in slime during a bushtucker trial (Image: REX/Shutterstock)I do not believe Matt Hancock should be in the jungle at all but given that he is, I cannot help thinking that he must be extraordinarily naive to say he is looking for forgiveness. In this judgmental age?He has said sorry. That, we are told, is not enough. He lost his job in the Cabinet. That is not enough. He has been reviled throughout press, media and social media. That is not enough. Even a bishop has cast doubt on whether Matt is sufficiently repentant.What exactly is enough? The shades of St Paul and John Profumo must be looking down and thanking God that they did not live now.Conor Burns lost his job as a minister and had his name plastered all over the press after a third party saw him ‘touch a young man’s thigh’ at a Conservative Party conference.The supposed victim never complained and it now transpires that one of the Whips saw the flirty and consensual gesture and included it in a general report of the evening but did not think it serious.Now the Party Chairman concludes there was no case to answer. What a pity that was not established before Mr Burns was named and before Wendy Morton, then the Chief Whip, clutched her pearls, reached for the smelling salts and fired the harmless guy.Poor dear, perhaps she was feeling menopausal. Burns was sacked as Trade Minister after allegations of misconduct (Image: PA)If the definition of madness is making the same mistake over and over again while expecting a different result, then Britain is bonkers – or rather its Government is.We have paid the French some £55million to stop migrants arriving here in droves. Since parting with the megabucks – taken from our taxes – tens of thousands more have alighted on our shores. So what do we do? We pay Macron another £80m.No wonder this country is such a laughing stock.Apparently the Government is preparing law to give an absolute right to those with relatives in care homes to visit them. What took ministers so long? More importantly, given that some care home owners are still acting as jailers, how long will it be before any new law is effective?Some civil servants have been given counselling for stress in dealing with the ‘kangaroo court’ of the House of Commons Standards and Privileges Committee as it investigates whether Boris misled MPs over Partygate.Apparently they have access to a 24/7 helpline to provide ’emotional support’. Perhaps they could spend five minutes at the Cenotaph understanding what stress really means and then just get on with it.