 'If I die, will I know I've died and feel it?' Nothing quite prepares you for hearing those words from the woman you love, when doctors inform your partner that she and your unborn baby could die during childbirth. My emotional rock bottom was watching her sign forms giving doctors authority to conduct an emergency c-section operation and permission for them to donate her organs should the worst happen. But I had to be a beacon of positivity and calmness, reassuring and providing support to our families during this seismic moment. I knew I would be forgiven for showing vulnerability, since the fragility of life was ever more apparent, but I chose to be selfless not selfish. Emotionally inside, I was a complete and utter mess, consumed by overwhelming fear, heartache, and anxiety. The two most important people in my world were at risk of being taken away from me and all I wanted to do was cry while hugging her and the bump tightly, not letting go. I kept those true feelings to myself, but at what cost? Lauren and I met six years ago through a mutual friend and immediately sparked a rapport with shared interests and humour. This progressed into a stable, happy and committed relationship. We had spoken about having children and it was extremely important to us to have a family at some point years down the line in the future, but things never go to plan right? 18 May 2019, 2:30pm, I received the text message that would change my world: 'OMG babe, I've just done a test, I'm pregnant'. I felt truly helpless, offering only a brave face and comforting words of reassurance (Picture: Paul Bent) Feelings of excitement, confidence, joy, love and responsibility were instant. I want to be the perfect dad since I grew up without one. These positive affirmations swiftly provoked thoughts of my childhood and doubt quickly ensued. All the dormant feelings of abandonment, isolation, disappointment, and){kind=link}
NEWS… BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT
‘If I die, will I know I’ve died and feel it?’
Nothing quite prepares you for hearing those words from the woman you love, when doctors inform your partner that she and your unborn baby could die during childbirth.
My emotional rock bottom was watching her sign forms giving doctors authority to conduct an emergency c-section operation and permission for them to donate her organs should the worst happen.
But I had to be a beacon of positivity and calmness, reassuring and providing support to our families during this seismic moment. I knew I would be forgiven for showing vulnerability, since the fragility of life was ever more apparent, but I chose to be selfless not selfish.