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Dis Life: Beach body ready? There’s no chance of getting full access to our coastline

Have you ever tried pushing a walker on sand or pebbles? It’s a challenge worthy of It’s A Knockout

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside! Oh I do like to be beside the sea! No really, so much so that I moved almost to the coast. The trouble is, it ain’t accessible. Not if you’ve got wheels. And I got wheels.

I’m lucky. I’m also ambulant, so I can crutch-scudder (trust me, it’s a thing – it’s a move somewhere between baby Bambi and a drunk crab) down pebbles (sometimes) into the sea, where I am truly free, and movement is restored to me – just call me Ariel – but if it’s a wheely day, it ain’t happening. Beach bodies are, alas, still only certain kinds of bodies in terms of full access to our Great British coastline.

The UK has nearly 8,000 miles of coastline. And granted, some of it is a bit too Old Man of Hoy for anyone to access, but there are an awful lot of coastal resorts where parity of access could be a thing (for people with all kinds of disabilities) but isn’t.

I used to think there was no sadder sight at a seaside than a toddler with a dropped ice cream. But now, I’ve changed my mind. The toddlers can get a new ice cream. My wheely friends stuck on the prom – now that’s what makes me ugly cry.

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