 and to enjoy a new adventurous chapter. Part of me admired their spirit but another part was devastated to lose their company and input into my (then) young children's lives. However, I eventually made peace with their choice and have come to terms with the fact that my extended family are very far away. Now my parents – who are in their early 80s – seem anxious about money and disenchanted with Australian culture, and are thinking about a return to the UK. I feel they are looking to me to welcome them home with open arms, and assume responsibility for their happiness. There's the implication of organising care and so on, when I feel rather disinclined to do so. I'm also feeling pretty resentful of my siblings, who soaked up the 'fun' years of twinkly grandparents and invitations on holiday, who now get to opt out of the nitty-gritty side of things. Should I be honest and say what I really think – that my parents made their choice, and now it is down to my brother and sister to support them in their declining years? Or is that just ungracious? — Sharon, London W5 Dear Sharon, You'll know if you've read this Column often enough that I don't wrap up my advice in cotton wool. I believe in straight talking, otherwise what's the point? So here goes – and I mean this for the best. I think you are standing much too close to this family portrait. You need to take some big steps back. In no particular order, let's examine your chief concerns. I'll start with your siblings. Sharon, it's not their fault that your parents emigrated. (If they had twisted their arms, I assume you would have told me.) You may envy them for enjoying the 'fun years of twinkly grandparents' – though that's quite a toxic emotion to hold in your heart for any length of time – but you can't really blame them. Next, your parents' decision to quit Australia){kind=link}
As The Telegraph’s Agony Uncle, I weigh in on your dilemmas – the good, the bad and the ugly
When they retired 20 years ago, my parents emigrated to Australia to be closer to my two siblings (one lives in Australia, the other in New Zealand) and to enjoy a new adventurous chapter. Part of me admired their spirit but another part was devastated to lose their company and input into my (then) young children’s lives. However, I eventually made peace with their choice and have come to terms with the fact that my extended family are very far away.
Now my parents – who are in their early 80s – seem anxious about money and disenchanted with Australian culture, and are thinking about a return to the UK. I feel they are looking to me to welcome them home with open arms, and assume responsibility for their happiness. There’s the implication of organising care and so on, when I feel rather disinclined to do so. I’m also feeling pretty resentful of my siblings, who soaked up the ‘fun’ years of twinkly grandparents and invitations on holiday, who now get to opt out of the nitty-gritty side of things.
Should I be honest and say what I really think – that my parents made their choice, and now it is down to my brother and sister to support them in their declining years? Or is that just ungracious?
– Sharon, London W5