According to lifestyle website Mamamia’s one-size-fits-all checklist, I’m the bit on the side… It’s all there in black and white
Has your husband suddenly started dressing like a GQ centre spread? Has he ditched the moth-eaten jumpers and replaced the Green Flash trainers with a pair of Maison Margiela leather low-tops? Is he smelling better too? Wafting around an unfamiliar woody chypre with a top note of patchouli? Has he got himself a personal trainer, started talking about beating his “personal best”, and is he mysteriously uncontactable for extended periods of the day?
I hate to break it to you, but the ball ‘n’ chain may be cheating on you. At least according to Mamamia. The news, opinion and lifestyle website for women ran a feature at the weekend, written by an anonymous wife and mother who only discovered her husband of 15 years was doing the dirty after hiring a private investigator.
In order to spare others the years of suspicion she endured, the woman has put together a checklist to help wives find out whether they are being cheated on – or, indeed, are “the other woman”.
I got through the first part of the test unscathed. My husband still insists on wearing a jumper I bought him circa 2008, one with a hole the size of his elbow in the arm – “because it’s so soft”. He probably thinks a “personal best” pertains to his Twitter follower count, and I know from various local informants that when he is uncontactable for extended periods of the day, he is not in an establishment that rents rooms by the hour, but in a local cafe specialising in “all-day breakfast muffins.”