New ‘Head of Uncertainty’ job at Department for Transport sparks slew of jokes online

A job listing for a new Department for Transport role has attracted some teasing online. It would seem the department, which looks after the UK’s transport links, aviation industry and railways, is looking for a ‘Head of Uncertainty and Scenarios’ under new transport secretary Mark Harper.’Fitting. The Department for Transport is hiring a ‘Head of Uncertainty’,’ tweeted journalist Josiah Mortimer.’Or are they…?’ quipped Dave Hutchinson.The job advertisement on civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk’Now there’s a job title,’ marvelled a Twitter user with the handle @Soapachu.’Sounds like something the Coalition of Chaos would need,’ replied another user.’Peak Britishness,’ declared journalist Paul Harris.Meanwhile, Ned Hartley commented that it ‘sounds like a song by The Smiths’, while Dr Francis Young joked: ‘The Monty Pythonesque jokes just write themselves’.’How will the success of the person appointed be measured, though? ‘What’s Gary actually DOING as Head of Uncertainty, though?’ ‘Nobody’s quite sure…’,’ added Dr Young.’You can either know where the trains are, or how fast they are going – but you cannot know both,’ wrote Lawrence Dunne.’Apply before everything goes horribly and unexpectedly wrong,’ joked Julian Shea.Multiple social media users joked that Avanti West Coast bosses should apply, given the rail operators recent timetable cuts and disruption to passengers.Others focused quips on the job advertisment itself, with one saying, ‘That deadline for applications is just too definite. Not in keeping with the ethos of the post.”Real missed opportunity for a question mark in ‘Apply before 11.55pm on Monday 7 November 2022?” commented Alan Yuhas.The job can be taken up in Birmingham, Leeds, or London, and pays £50,000 per annum, with a £5,000 further weighting for the London option.According to the DfT, the position is ‘a fascinating and interesting role to undertake, where you will provide expert economic and modelling advice, as well as essential work to support the department’. ‘The focus of the team is on understanding and modelling travel demand and the uncertainty around it, developing novel and new approaches to representing uncertainty in appraisal and supporting decision making under uncertainty and using the National Transport model to test Departmental policies and to produce national road traffic forecasts,’ the listing continues.The Department says it will assess candidates against three ‘behaviours’ during the selection process: ‘Seeing the Big Picture, Making Effective Decisions and Delivering at Pace’.Adding further uncertainty to the already mysterious position, the team write: ‘This interview could be conducted online via Teams or face to face at one of our offices.’