I love my body but exercise should be about us feeling better about ourselves and not about image
I recently went through a weird phase where people on social media were commenting on my “happy weight” since entering a new relationship. Within a week I’ve had three people send me different messages. Someone congratulated me, and said they could tell that I was pregnant because I’ve gained weight and my face is fuller. I had another person say, “I see your shape changing”, and one mentioned that “I’m looking thicker. Are you pregnant? If so, congrats”. And I just thought to myself, that’s so brazen. Even if I’m pregnant – which I’m not – be a decent human being and wait for me to announce it. It’s just bad manners to make reference to people’s weight, because you don’t know what they are experiencing. Leave people to exist.
I’ve generally been quite a slim and slender person, and my metabolism is generally – or was – quite fast before I hit my thirties. This year I gained a stone and went from a size 8 to a 10, and couldn’t be happier, because when I graduated from Brunel University in 2011, when I was 22 – I’m 33 now – I really wanted to get a “Brazilian Butt Lift”, until my mum talked me out of it. I’m not saying I’m against surgery at all, but I do think maintenance is very different from transformation.
But the policing of women’s bodies existed long before social media and within the black community, in particular, a curvy “slim thick” figure is adored, and I didn’t have that growing up. In the 1990s, you would never see a plus-size woman gracing the cover of a magazine, billboard or campaign. It is fantastic that things have changed. But I think that change is irking some people and revealing their internal fatphobia. Although I love my body now, and have no desire to change my physical appearance, there is a continued need for women to carry on seeing examples of different body shapes and sizes.
When you have a job as a content creator – although I’m also a writer – if you are not thick-skinned or self-reflective, it’s very easy for you to define your values according to your appearance. I have so much more to offer to the world apart from my body, it’s probably the least exciting part of me. If I assign so much value to it, what will happen when my body changes, when I have a child or grow into an old woman? My body is a vessel, so I need to maintain it for the benefit of my health.