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‘I want to sleep in a separate room to my husband but he says I’m being unfair’

A busy mum has admitted to having to sleep on the sofa as her husband’s bedtime routine is throwing hers off – she puts the kids down alone then can’t unwind, so suggested separate rooms

Naturally, when we enter into a new relationship or marriage, we want to sleep in the same bed as our partners. But that isn’t the case with all couples. One woman says she felt guilty after sleeping on the sofa instead of in the same room as her husband. The busy mum admits she and her husband have completely different sleeping patterns.

Her husband sleeps at an earlier time in the day while she usually sleeps at around 10pm, once she tucks her children into bed. On Mumsnet, she opened up about their completely different routines saying: “I’m of that age where I have increasing difficulties with sleeping. I really need a careful regime of reading etc to help me drop off. However [my husband] has started going to bed ridiculously early – tonight it was 8.30! (Leaving me to settle the kids again even though it was his turn to do bed time).”

She added: “By the time the kids are settled and I am ready (like 10pm not massively late) he is in bed asleep with the light off. I am then stuck with my need for my own bed time routine. So I end up stuck on the sofa bad – which is ok but not as comfy as my bed. I have suggested we take turns downstairs but [he] just said I need to join him if I want my bed.

Confused as to whether or not she is doing the right thing, she asked: “So AIBU [am I being unreasonable] for wanting to be able to sleep in my own room? Or does my insomnia/ difficulties mean o am now permanently on the sofa bed.” One person took to the comment section to offer some advice on the situation, as they penned: “Get a small night light you can attach to your book or the pillow behind your head and crack on. If he’s fast asleep it won’t wake him. Or the backlit kindle. Don’t spend another night on the sofa. If the tiny light wakes him up politely suggest he makes his way to the sofa himself.

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