DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I discovered my partner had a secret family for 14 years I was utterly devastated . . . but still I was determined not to lose him.
Five years on and I feel naive: How could I think we could ever get back to anything like normality?
When I learned about his lies, he had actually finished the affair with his lover, but was still very much in his children’s lives.
I don’t know what hurt the most, the fact he fathered three children by her or the fact their affair had lasted so long.
We had been together for 17 years and I thought we had a solid relationship and a great sex life.