. You have no leverage over your wayward brother. If you did, your 'you've lost the plot' approach to him (which by the way I completely agree with) would have had at least some effect. But it hasn't, has it? He simply swatted you away as an irrelevance. You don't even say that there was a row about it; just a simple brush-off ('he doesn't agree'). In my book, there are affairs, and then there are affairs. I try very hard not to be judgmental on these pages, but people like your brother certainly test that resolve. It's not so much that he was conducting an illicit relationship while his son-to-be was growing in his loving and wholly unsuspecting wif){kind=link}
As The Telegraph’s Agony Uncle, I weigh in on your dilemmas – the good, the bad and the ugly
My brother is married to a lovely woman and they have just had a baby son who was born a month early. It has now come to light that my brother has been having an affair for the entirety of his wife’s pregnancy, and has recently moved out.
His wife wants to fix the marriage and make it work, for the sake of their son if nothing else; family and friends are trying hard to get through to him exactly how much he would be giving up by not going back to them.
However, I am deeply concerned that he is not going to make the decision to be there for his son and wife. I am so worried that he is risking any loving relationship with his son by doing so, to say nothing of the opprobrium he will suffer from friends and family.
He thinks he can move back in and help look after the baby while maintaining a relationship with this other woman: I think he’s lost the plot. He and his wife could make a fresh start with their new baby, and a new approach to their marriage. He doesn’t agree.