 'How could he do this to me?' I sobbed into my phone. My best friend Alec* was doing his best to comfort me, but I was inconsolable. Only minutes earlier, Google had confirmed that the pills concealed in my boyfriend's suitcase were antiretroviral medicines, or ARVs. Medication to treat HIV. And we'd had unprotected sex. I didn't know it at the time, but when you're taking your HIV treatment properly you can become undetectable, which means you can't pass it on to anyone else. While his HIV medication could have protected me if he had been taking them consistently as part of his treatment, I didn't know if he had. And it turns out, he hadn't. I was 19 when my boyfriend Dave*, then in his mid 20s, and I started dating at the start of the pandemic. Dave was tall, handsome and I liked him a lot. After two weeks of chatting on Grindr, we started arranging online 'dates' – and Dave asked me to be his boyfriend. Though we'd never met, it just felt right. Nigeria, where I'm from, has anti-gay laws and my parents are religiously homophobic. I'd known I liked boys since I was 10, and never had a problem accepting my sexuality. Except, my sister was the only one who supported me. My parents knew about my sexuality, but were in denial about it, hoping I would change someday. I was an unemployed student, so it felt good having someone like Dave – older and more experienced – finally watching out for me. He paid my bills, bought me clothes and surprised me with gifts. I felt loved, wanted. We talked every day and after months, when lockdown was lifted, we decided to meet. He lived a long drive from me, so we agreed to travel to a different state to spend a week together. My stomach was flipping with nerves and excitement and, when I got the hotel room door, I paused, wondering whether to knock. The decision was taken out of my hands though, as the receptionist had already informed){kind=link}
NEWS… BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT
‘How could he do this to me?’ I sobbed into my phone.
My best friend Alec* was doing his best to comfort me, but I was inconsolable.
Only minutes earlier, Google had confirmed that the pills concealed in my boyfriend’s suitcase were antiretroviral medicines, or ARVs. Medication to treat HIV.
And we’d had unprotected sex.