As The Telegraph’s Agony Uncle, I weigh in on your dilemmas – the good, the bad and the ugly
A month ago I went to a friend’s for a cup of tea. We’ve known each other for years (we work together) and we’ve always had an entirely platonic relationship. I’m happily married; she’s (I would say) contentedly single.
Just before I went home, I popped to the bathroom. To my shock, in the sink was a sex toy. Of course whatever a person gets up to at home is entirely their business, and we’re friends, but not what you’d call especially intimate ones, so I made no comment and nor did she.
I headed off as normal but at some point she must have gone to the bathroom and realised what I’d seen. Since then, things have been awkward between us. I see her most days at work but she always seems too busy for a chat and she has avoided social get-togethers. I don’t know if it’s me projecting on to her, her own embarrassment, or a bit of both.
What course of action do you suggest? I don’t want something as silly as this to come between us. Should I have a discreet word, get things out in the open? Ask my wife to intercede? Even make a joke of it? Or should I say nothing and hope it is all soon forgotten? I would tend to discount the possibility that this was some kind of coded invitation – it’s never been like that between us – but the longer I nurse this, the more I feel like we’re sharing a guilty secret, which is unfair on my friend and unpleasant for me.