‘Don’t bother’ Man slams slow cooker full English breakfast

A man was disappointed after attempting to cook a full English breakfast in a slow cooker.Smyth Harper became curious after enjoying chicken curry, pulled beef and hearty stews in the electrical appliance.So the 45-year-old man rolled up bacon along the sides of the slow cooker, put the eggs with a blob of butter in a cup, and assembled hash browns, black pudding and baked beans in a mug.He then left it overnight, waking up to “a good smell” in his kitchen.But he admitted “looks can be deceiving” as the black pudding and the eggs left a great deal to be desired.Speaking to Manchester Evening News, Smyth said: “Two of the hash browns were like eating shards of glass laced with diamond dust; the other two had collapsed into mush.”But oh my god, the eggs. The eggs were cooked, but the process changed them from the burst of sunshine they should bring to every breakfast plate to a horrifying mix of green and grey. Somehow, their soul had been removed.”As I put them in the bin I could hear the screams of the damned from the portal of hell whence they came. I had to scramble some fresh eggs in the traditional style.” Smyth Harper prepared a full English breakfast in the slow cooker (Image: Smyth Harper)Smyth, who works for Lancashire County Council, said the sausages and bacon tasted “lush”.The budding chef, from Blackley, Manchester, had read online positive reviews of breakfasts in slow cookers.But ultimately, he didn’t agree.Smyth continued: “In conclusion, some of it was delicious, some of it was edible, some of it was beans, and some of it was an abomination in the eyes of god and men.”This was an interesting fresh take on what really is the nearest thing the English have to a cuisine, but I’m afraid the score is a hard 4/10. Don’t bother.” The slow cooker full English looks pretty good – but looks can be deceiving (Image: Smyth Harper)Last week, Express.co.uk found a slow cooker is one of the most cost-effective cooking devices.A Russell Hobbs spokesman said: “Slow cookers are great for gently cooking meals over a longer period of time. “They are also great for getting the best out of cheaper cuts of meat that would otherwise be tough and chewy with other methods of cooking. “It’s a great convenience option, as well as being an energy efficient option, as you can load it up with minimal prep or pre-cooking in the morning and come home to a delicious homecooked meal after work. “You then only have one pot to wash up too – win-win.”